Every species of penguin, ranked by me.
There are 18 species of penguin. When I was a kid, I’m pretty sure there were only 17. Well I’m actually quite sure, because my friends and I used to be able to name all of them. We’d make a contest of it, even race each other. We were penguin-obsessed, and the hive mind factor did not at all help. We read every penguin-related book in the library a dozen times over, threw penguin parties, and reveled in the release of movies like March of the Penguin, Happy Feet, and Surf’s Up (Oh yes, 2007 was such a good time to be not just a kid, but a penguin fanatic).
Times have changed. I’m a grown up now, and my friends and I don’t take each other to task in animal-naming contests nearly as often anymore. And now, there are 18 species of penguin. I found out one day just surfing the internet, looking up something unrelated. But the fact made me double-take, fact check, and then think. It’s not really a new species, moreso a reclassification of a pre-existing species into the new groups. A subtle change, but now the total is 18, not 17, a fact I had taken for granted would never change.
Learning about the new species, I felt a distance crop up in my life, one that had been growing all along but that I hadn’t noticed, between myself and my past self, the version of myself that knew every name of every species of penguin, and the version of myself that didn’t even know how many species there were.
The observation of that distance and the hollowness within is why I come to you humbly now, not a scientist nor a bird expert, but a lifetime appreciater of penguins. Here is my non-definitive ranking of every penguin species, developed in consideration of my past self, and the knowledge that there are now 18 total:
18. Erect-crested
There are no losers in a penguin contest. But this guy did lose points due to his unfortunate name. Otherwise, this is a fine penguin species that has a lot of the classic markers. Yellow crest, black and white body, and orange beak. To its credit, this is a migrating penguin with a wide range.
Mediocracy is an admirable path, and this species owns it.
An Erect-crested penguin, via Wikimedia
17. Snares
They have a small range limited to just a few islands in New Zealand. They’re medium-sized, yet bigger than the rock hoppers.
Allegedly has a “more dramatic” crest than the erect-crested penguin, which makes me think that the erect-crested penguin really could have had a different name. This species does have a kind of gorgeous pink lipliner, which distinguishes it from the Takai.
16. Galapagos
In its favor, this is the only penguin with colonies in the Northern hemisphere (which is cool bc that’s where I live). They also have a really long beak which is funny because when they yell it looks like their whole head is opening up.
They have a mostly black face and neck with minimal white markings, which is pretty different from most other penguins. I personally am more of a fan of a colorful penguin with a brightly-colored face but that does come down to personal preference, I know some people really prefer a traditional black-and-white only penguin. Those people should do their own rankings.
Galapagos Penguins, via Galápagos Conservancy
15. Humboldt
These are the penguins that they have at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle. That’s possibly my personal most-visited colony of penguins, so, I would say we’re friends. In the wild, however, this species is found only in South America, with a breeding range extending down the western coast of the continent.
They live in nests of dried poop which is a little gross to my human eye. But it’s also kind of sad because they’re depending on very delicate infrastructure that is highly susceptible to human disturbance. So these penguins have kind of been struggling in recent years in terms of housing. Which, you know, who among us??
14. Yellow-eyed
Living in New Zealand (like Lorde, the pop star), this is a particular small species once thought to be closely related to Little Penguins.
The striking coloration on the eyes is very beautiful but not as impressive as some of the crested penguins that come later on the list.
13. Magellanic
They have gorgeous pink coloration near the eye, as well as black-and-white banding. The babies look really weird (in a goofy, cute way), so the species overall gets points for that.
This was one of my favorite species when I was younger. Fun fact: They spend over half of the year at sea, which blows my mind.
Magellanic Penguins, via Oceanwide Expeditions
12. Royal
They sport a unique, golden crest. Unique both in terms of its really deep yellowy color and its feathery shape. It sort of looks like it has a nice hair style going on. They also have a HUGE! orange beak, very distinct and proud.
Their physical demarcations and their exceptionally small range in southern Australia got this species points for uniqueness (still working on nerve, talent, and what was the other one?...).
11. Gentoo
I find this species to be perfectly formed, kind of the Kantian ideal of a penguin. They have notably cool eye markings, but aren’t as distinct as some of the other species.
There’s a relatively wide range, stretching across Antarctica, the Southern Ocean, and up to New Zealand. A lot of other penguin species will be endemic to just a couple of islands but not the Gentoo!
Gentoo penguins, via ASOC
This species did get points added for having not one, but two cool names. Of the yellow-crested penguins, this is the one whose crest looks the most like winged eyeliner so that’s pretty cool. The crest has a lovely bright, light yellow color.
Their population is endemic to New Zealand and declining, they are threatened everywhere that they’re found. Their biggest threat? Dogs 🙁
Takais, via The Takai Project
9. Adelie
This penguin lacks distinct coloration or markings outside of the classic black and white suit, but that’s almost better.These are brush-tailed penguins, which are my preference in penguin tails. I think that of all the penguins, this is the one that looks the most like a man in a little tuxedo.
They have incredible jumping capabilities and eat mostly krill, which kinda, same (I eat a lot of shrimp). Jules Dumont d’Urville named this species after his wife, Adele, which is sort of romantic and glamorous.
8. African
This species simply had to be in the top ten. These are the penguins that they have at the Atlanta and Boston zoos, which are two of the first places I ever even saw penguins IRL. (the Boston penguins are lowk famous)
Their distinct range is in South Africa and Namibia. These also have the beautiful pink coloration like the Magellenic, I think that the pink is a little less striking here but they're still really cute. Their call and body language are both super distinct and adorable.
Both Rock Hoppers are icons with big personalities.
But the Northern Rock Hopper has the bigger crest.
This was contentious for me.
My gut reaction was to rank the Northern species higher because of the bigger crest, but the Southern variety is much sleeker. Also, the Northern variety was delineated out of the Southern variety, so really, this is the OG. The Eastern variety is still considered an offshoot of the Southern, so they get credit for carrying that weight, too.
5. Chinstrap
Another icon you’ll probably recognize, the chin markings on this species are so unique and perfect.
You know what else this penguin species gets points for? Having a good attitude.
Chinstrap penguin, via BBC Wildlife Magazine
4. Macaroni
A gorgeous, instantly recognizable creature with a silhouette more famous than most Hollywood starlets.
Speaking of starlets--this species of penguin is featured prominently in both Surf’s Up and Happy Feet.
Macaroni penguins, via ASOC
Absolutely this species wins the “Best little freak” award, so of course, this is the penguin I see myself the most in. It is famously BLUE! in color, and is also the smallest species.
They live mostly under people’s houses in Australia, and are largely regarded as a pest or nuisance but honestly it’s just good that I don’t live in Australia because I would let them come into my home.
Little penguins, via Cincinatti Zoo & Botanical Garden
2. Emperor
It was always going to come down to this number one and two. These are the classic, inspired choices that have fueled the imaginations of generations of penguins fans. Emperor penguins are probably most famous for their cute babies, with furry grey bodies and distinct black heads. These penguins were featured heavily in Happy Feet, with the cute babies taking a central role in the film’s marketing. They are also the subjects of March of the Penguins, which brought the Antarctic population to the international limelight.
They are the largest species of penguin and that carries weight around here buh dum tiss
Emperor Penguin babies, via ASOC
1. King
I have a secret theory that this is actually the most famous penguin, but people don’t even realize because of how often they get mixed up with the Emperor penguins. But truthfully, if you go into a store and pull a penguin toy or penguin book off of the shelf, there’s a good chance you’ll have a King penguin staring back at you. For example, this species clearly resembles the Webkinz penguin.
They're smaller, shorter, and a little sleeker than the Emperor penguins. The real crux is the babies: I think that the King penguin babies are even cuter than the Emperor babies, though I’d hate to have to go up against either of them.
King penguins, via Birds of the World
Cranberry sauce spotlight: 5 creative ways to dish it up
Ruby red and explosively acidic, cranberry sauce is one the things I look forward to the most on Thanksgiving. I’m not at all picky between canned and homemade, jellied or whole berries. I actually prefer a variety, and on my own table I serve a simple homemade recipe like this one from Simply Recipes alongside a can of classic Ocean Spray, still jiggling from being plopped onto the plate in one satisfying flop.
But, cranberry sauce isn’t just one of my favorite Thanksgiving dishes, it’s also one of my favorite Thanksgiving leftovers. It has so many uses beyond brightening up a savory holiday plate. I actually keep a jar of the homemade stuff in my fridge all Winter as a seasonal source of acidity.
Here are some ways I like use to cranberry sauce throughout the year, in the holidays and beyond:
As a salad dressing
So yummy and so simple, this is a super light, impressive recipe that you can throw together in seconds. And, it’ll help you give you a break from all the hearty, savory dishes in Winter.
Take a few tablespoons of balsamic vinegar and a hit of a good olive and mix in some salt and pepper. Slowly stir in the cranberry sauce to taste. That’s it!
Serve it on top of a bed of arugula with some shredded carrots and toasted nuts, and that’s a lovely seasonal salad you can serve all week.
Serve that salad with a super simple steak frites and you can have a meal big enough for a small dinner party, or a family, if you’ve got one of those.
This version from Delicious Little Bites uses apple cider vinegar, maple syrup, and dijon mustard for a well-developed, balanced zingy flavor.
As a marinade
Balance the acidity and sweetness of the cranberry sauce with salt, herbiness, and savory flavors to make a well-rounded marinade perfect for pork, seafood, and chicken.
Start with a few tablespoons of cranberry, and add a neutral oil like vegetable or canola oil. Add some salt, and then from there, the world is your oyster in terms of flavors. Try adding things like garlic, Worcester sauce, fish sauce, shallot, black pepper, chili flake, or fresh herbs like rosemary or thyme. Once you have a strong-flavored concoction that pleases your senses, marinate your protein for at least one hour or overnight in the fridge. Add some water if you need help covering the protein, just being somewhat careful as to not overly dilute the marinade.
This is a great Wintertime recipe but you could use this all year, especially when making meats and vegetables on the grill.
When developing flavors for your marinade, take inspiration from recipes like this one from Robust Recipes, which pairs cranberry with garlic and rosemary to make a festive marinade for chicken.
On top of ice cream or in milkshakes, with or without ginger snaps.
Since cranberry sauce tastes nothing like sweet cherry pie filling, despite looking exactly like it, I think people forget altogether how easily cranberry sauce can be incorporated into desserts. The acidity plays nicely off of the richness and sweetness of desserts.
A really simple way to take advantage of it is to dollop your cranberry sauce directly onto a bowl of silky vanilla bean ice cream. Crumble on some ginger snaps for added crunch and extra festiveness.
Stirred into a batter--cake, cornbread, muffins, pancakes, or brownies.
Stir cranberry sauce directly into a batter right before it cooks for a swirl of jammy brightness. The cranberry sauce looks amazing swirled in corn bread or corn muffins. If you like a fully-loaded dessert, brownies with caramel and salt are a great counter to cranberry sauce’s fruity zing. Or break out the cranberry at breakfast with healthy oatmeal muffins boosted by cranberry flavor. This is a great way to get a lot of mileage out of not very much cranberry sauce--great for when you're dealing with the dredges of leftovers at the end of the holidays.
For a simple take on the cranberry cornbread, check out this recipe from Food Meanderings that also includes bacon bit and maple syrup for a super creative twist on a classic that’ll help you really transform your cranberry sauce, preventing midwinter boredom.
On toast, especially with tea.
This one is so simple and yet so refined. Especially homemade cranberry sauce on top of wheat toast or a crusty bread gives a homestyle feeling to a simple, light breakfast.
I like to spread chunky peanut butter on wheat toast, slater on some cranberry sauce, and top it with a dusting of cinnamon and chia seeds. It’s beautiful enough to impress guests and low key pretty healthy, especially for a sweet breakfast, if you’re into that kind of thing.
These tips are great with canned cranberry sauce like the ones from Ocean Spray, but I’m also dying to try these fun homemade recipes with a twist:
Cranberry sauce has been the culinary star of my holiday season thus far, and I hope I’ve inspired you to see its potential not as a holiday dinner table condiment but as an uplifting festive staple.
Photo from Food Network, link to the recipe.
Proofreading Resources
There are dozens of grammar tools out there, AI-powered or not. How do you find the proofreading tools that are right for you? I found out mostly through experimentation, but once you know what you’re looking for, there’s plenty of great tools out there.
Here’s three proofreading resources I use for my work.
Sorry if this gives you major flashbacks to your college Writing days, but your professors were right. AP isn’t a universal standard by any means, but it's a formidable stand-in for most journalism and media. If you’re a writer and you don’t know this thing front and back, you should keep a copy bookmarked. And I’m not trying to preach--just save you time. Where else can you find a compendium of absolutely everything related to formatting? Well, of course, any of the other style guides, but like I said, this is the one that’s most-used by journalists, media, and literary mags.
This came recommended to me by other writers, and I see why. Who doesn’t get stuck with a word on the tip of their tongue? You can easily search for definitions and similar words. You can also narrow down words by vibe or meaning, which is super useful when you’re not exactly sure what word it is you’re looking for. This is super helpful, especially when you’ve caught yourself in a repetitive loop.
Grammar.com Grammar checker
I love this tool at work because it’s so breezy and efficient to use. Copy and paste your work in, and quickly get grammar and spelling suggestions back out. Plus, if you happen to be copy-and-pasting your work around a bit, this doubles as an “on-deck” window to help stay organized.
A note on AI: I don’t use AI for my personal writing. That’s my choice, and it’s in part because I don’t want my creative ideas leaking out there into the World Wide Web. It’s also because I’m interested in writing as a process and don’t often create things without a personal connection. I prefer to edit in a way that’s constructive rather than prescriptive--something that doesn’t always jive with AI processes. I’m also concerned about the environmental impact of AI, so I limit my use to absolutely-necessary professional work.
Three Skills I’ve Honed While Working from Home:
It all begins with an idea.
1. Goal-setting
Is your goal at work today to communicate more efficiently with leadership? Is the goal related better with your peers? Are you seeking personal improvement in a specific area? When I work from home, I find it even easier to track and keep personal goals, especially those that pertain to work. I can proudly write my goals, expectations, and outlooks for myself clearly on the board by my desk -- and with no chance of lurking coworkers, I can be candid, vivid, and earnest in my goal-setting.
2. Organization
Before WFH, I had an easier time compartmentalizing work and home and two separate entities. Work became the place I personally emphasized. When I was there, I wanted to succeed. I would put myself out there, dress nicely, and show myself and others respect whenever I could. Which, what did that leave home to be?
Now that I’m here during the day, my house is now a busy, productive place instead of only existing as an external manifestation of my sense of rest-outside-of-work. It matters to me a lot more now that my house is clean, well-organized, and full of thoughtful, useful spaces. Which has allowed my work space to become super-organized as well -- no longer a desk jammed with all things that could be considered “work”, my home office is a well-refined, carefully-executed retreat that evokes a productive mindset.
3. Self-efficacy
Working from home, it’s a lot easier for me to distinguish what happens to me at work from what I do at work. For some people, work is simply a place you show up to in the morning. But not in the work from home environment. I have to track my goals extra tightly and be able to consistently communicate my progress clearly to stay on track. I work hard because I hold myself to it. That kind of self-moderation is a useful skill in a lot of facets of life, but especially work.